To the Slow Cooker at 75: A Birthday Sonnet
For a full selection of brand-new slow cookers, crock pots and food warmers, go to KaTom Restaurant Supply.
Shall I compare you to a Naxon Beanery?
Perhaps a stewpot would be apropos?
Electric skillet, dump-n-stir machinery,
Whatever makes a chef turn up his nose?
Your claim to fame would otherwise be “braising” –
Slow cooking that lets flavors coalesce –
But just in case you get above your raising,
remember: you were bought at CVS.
You started out with kishke, beans, and barley,
then stroganoff and chili and fondue,
carnitas, enchiladas, and tamales,
plus queso, mashed potatoes, barbecue.
Three-quarters of a century! Still hot!
(Take that, then, hipster-handled coffeepot!)