Funky is the New Festive

Candy canes aren’t always classic Christmas peppermint anymore. Beloved candy brands like Jelly Belly, Sour Patch Kids, Starburst, and SweeTarts have put a fruity twist on the classic peppermint candy. Meanwhile, treat producers like Oreo, Hershey, and Klondike have incorporated their sweet decadence into hooked canes, creating unique flavor combinations that many people love. However, those aren’t as outrageously offensive as some flavors out there; many more wildly ridiculous flavors exist that people love to hate. If you wish to prank unsuspecting victims, read on to gauge what their reactions might be.

Spit Takes

To get into the Christmas spirit here at KaTom, some of our team members volunteered to participate in a blind taste test of bizarre candy cane flavors. From savory gravy and rotisserie chicken to wasabi and dill pickle, these fantastically funky flavors considerably spiced up a routine morning at the office.

These Taste Terrible

For your amusement and entertainment, we dug through hundreds of Amazon reviews written by folks who had significant enough reactions to share their experiences with the internet. Here are some of our favorites.

Pickle-flavored

Favorite review: Shelly (2 stars)

“Kids thought they tasted like minty fish.”

Honorable mention: Amazon customer (5 stars)

“My friend loves pickles. Got these candy canes for her. I’m sure she loves them.”

Gravy-flavored

Favorite review: Dale (5 stars)

“Gravy candy canes taste like petrified horse manure with a sweet after-taste of rancid hogwash. Just unwrapping the candy (easily disguised as caramel candy canes) unleashes a vile stench. I love terrible food and this was inedible.”

Honorable mention: Jennifer (2 stars)

“The smell of sugar and wet dog food invades my sinuses. I am really trying to give this the best try I can but the light flavor of rancid bouillon with just a whiff of onion makes me literally gag. That’s it. I’m done.”

Bacon-flavored

Favorite review: JJB (1 star)

“Tastes terrible. Everyone who tried it did not like it. Even tried to get our dog to lick it and she wouldn’t.”

Honorable mention: Kathryn (1 star)

“Smells like dog food, but I imagine even dog food would taste better.”

Honorable mention: Mariah (1 star)

“Perhaps a nice gift to give that annoying, snotty guy at work that constantly uses the phrase, ‘everything’s better with bacon!’. Maybe opting to buy him a clean shirt would be nicer.”

Wasabi-flavored

Favorite review: Dylan (5 stars)

“Looking at the other reviews, I was nervous. After finally deciding to order them, they were perfect. None were broken, and they tasted nasty. Also as a bonus they have a bad aftertaste and give you bad breath. Love it.”

Honorable mention: Kimberly (4 stars)

“Gross and terrible, which is exactly what I was going for.”

Honorable mention: Linc (4 stars)

“I eat wasabi daily. I drink it. I breathe it. And now, I suck on it, too. These candy canes are great on the inside, okay on the outside. Giving them as a surprise would have worked better if they made the outer layers of the candy cane as spicy as they did on the inside. They definitely do taste like wasabi and leaves the familiar sting of actual wasabi if you eat the entire candy cane very quickly.”

Rotisserie Chicken-flavored

Favorite review: Jason (1 star)

“I was surprised how much it tasted like chicken. Then, the aftertaste. I’m dry heaving and can’t get the taste or smell out of my mouth. Would not recommend these to the worst person in the world.”

Honorable mention: Delta (3 stars)

“It tastes a lot like it smells, therefore, I don’t suspect anyone will want to eat the whole candy cane once they’ve smelled it. Unless, of course, you enjoy candy products that remind you of the remnants of gravy and some unknown meat source or a candy that leaves a horrendous aftertaste in your mouth and makes you want to go brush your teeth immediately! It reminds me of the type of products that pets would enjoy, like meat-flavored bones or chew toys.”

Honorable mention: Pamela (2 stars)

“I didn’t like this product at all.”

Amanda Parks
Amanda Parks Amanda Parks is an East Tennessean by birth and now by choice, having returned to the area after a short time in Memphis while earning her master's degree in professional writing. Her love of travel and "eating anything with excessive amounts of cheese" provide a combination that likely explains her having experienced the World Cheese Dip Championship in Little Rock, Ark. She also loves reading, fashion, playing board games, Mexican food, and her two dogs, Bella and Bentley. She spends most of her time chasing her nearly 3-year-old daughter Madison Kate, who teaches her unconditional love, patience, and how to suppress laughter at undesirable behaviors that remind her of a younger version of herself. Connect with Amanda Parks on Google+